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Confronting the Nature Called Human
My big aim to accomplish during this upcoming three years’ projects at Allahabad is to make a place where people could learn from each other at rural villages. In the past, MSCNE has been involved in many projects in the villages of Allahabad, such as promoting organic farming, supporting health projects, and running schools for village children. However, the aim hence forth in these projects is to create rural communities where it is not just the staff members of MSCNE who teach the villagers, but it is the village people themselves who teach each other, and learn from one another.
I cannot understand the farmers of Allahabad by ordinary means. In the villages, they value group works. But when it comes to project works, they suddenly turn self-centered, and only think about themselves. They only think about what is directly in front of their eyes. Yet, when they are in trouble, they suddenly cry to us. Or else, they change their attitude and fly into a rage.
When I try to think about the meaning of cooperation with these villagers, I start doubting my own definition of what it actually means. The projects are executed so everyone could collaborate and work together, but my image of cooperation are crushed once these projects are put into action. When I see these farmers joking around and laughing without thinking about tomorrow, I start doubting my effort in trying to make brighter future for them. Why do I have to put so much time and effort for these farmers who are always late for seminars put together for them? How do I care for people that I care and how do I keep distance? The way I was taught to think and the environment that I grew up in are all drastically different and it make me feel isolated.
When I ponder on such thoughts, I start getting confused about many things. And when I put my guards off by chance, I even start thinking that, perhaps, the villagers’ way of life is correct. Perhaps, the way of the villagers are the closest to the natural way of human beings, but the differences between me and the villagers exemplify that we are all half-way human beings. Clinging onto an indefinable sadness on one hand, yet, living in an artificial, man-made life on the other—In the midst of all that, I sway and confront the modern economy and cultural problems. And the only thing I can believe in myself in all that was the nature that I found in myself. The “emotion” that boils in me—a true light.
I would like to run the projects so that cooperation will be apparent amongst the village people. To understand the nature of agriculture and agriculturists, and to want to do something new for their village, for neighbors, themselves and their own family, to share what they have learned so far. What kind of emotion would assist them to put forth all that?
“Work together,” “Help one another,” and the meanings behind these phrases. My 3 years quest to find them begins. The villagers pay visit to the office yet again saying “Namaste.” Perhaps, there are quarrels and conflicts at the eaves. Perhaps, I would get disappointed by the agricultural theories at times. Even then, I will listen to my inner nature, untangle the conflicts, put effort to understand, and will learn from one another. And grow. For me, these 3 years are education. And 3 years from now, I believe that the villagers will be starting something for themselves and for each other at a place called “Agricultural Institute.” Only then, maybe that inner nature inside me will change. These thoughts I trust make me go forth in the land of Allahabad today.
In closing, I would like to thank the members of ASHA and other organizations for supporting us, and for allowing me to work and live in such a fascinating environment.
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Specific Nonprofit Orgainzation ASHA ＝ Asian Sustainable Holistic Approach
